A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

So they say, anyway

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone.
Carry on.
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground.
Carry on.

 

 

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anger-

and fear, and where the eff is God in that? I keep trying to remind myself, he’s present, he knows, and he cares… and i thihnk i’m lying to myself, so fuck off you sunovabitch, he’s only 19 and doesnt deserve this.

Good thing I am a rock, and feel no pain.

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Heartbreak

So, my guess is that most people (that don’t live under a rock, and for all I know, there’s an iApp for them, too)… anyway, we’ve probably all heard of Newtown, CT, and the horrific shootings there Friday.

I only popped back on here to share something our new Rector said, as he addressed us; in the context of free-will, and bad things happening,

“God’s heart… his.. he… God’s heart, was the first one breaking.”

Yes, the pauses were his, and yes, it really sucks; but the thing to hang onto, is that God is with us, and God weeps with us, and yes- Gods heart is big enough to break, too.

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Never Forget…. but what then?

I was sitting in church this morning, listening to the sermon, and at one point she mentioned those words, which were plastered all over the place shortly after 9/11/01, banners, signs, t-shirts, bumperstickers. “Never Forget”, usually followed by the date, sometimes accompanied by an image.

As I listened, I remembered- the awful stunning news; slowly comprehending it was real; frantically calling, attempting to anyway, my uncle who was employed at the WTC… the unknowing… the dread fear… of the tears, as we who were also firefighters, watched the deaths of brothers and sisters… of the pall of smoke and dust, visible for days…

And I remembered the Gospel that was read this morning, about forgiveness and how difficult that is; and I thought of other times, other acts that I’ve forgiven, and the many many many times I have needed and been granted forgiveness…

And I thought, what then? Never forget, true- but forgive? God can… we mere humans can try… can we? I dunno.. but, I pray so, that we can forgive in the spirit that we are forgiven.

So, that’s my answer, for today anyway; I’ll never forget… and then, I’ll pray.

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Hurricane Readiness

So, how to prepare for a hurricane? If you’re like many, you buy water, make sure you have propane for the grill, or charcoal- you stock up on food that won’t spoil, knowing roads may be blocked by trees and powerlines if the wind brings them down.

You fill the bathtub with water, if you have a well on a pump, so you can flush the toilets should the power drop. You make sure you have batteries for flashlights, and candles for atmosphere.

Or, you do as my 14 year old daughter did- call some friends, and put on your bathing suits, and wait in the yard & play in the rain, before the wind hits and you can’t be outside.

I like her thinking!

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Why not?

Family
Kids
Live
Jobs
Promotions
Terror
Cars
Utility poles
Tears
Pain
Sadness
Terror
Talk
Breathe
Just breathe
Smile
Terror
Storms
Laughter
Change
Plans
Secrets
Joy
Terror
Love

Mix well, shake thoroughly, splash over ice and you have life; drink deeply.

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Thank you all- Update

I’ve been crazy-busy and hectic and feeling overwhelmed, so I haven’t updated you and I apologize for that. I want to let you all know, Nick is home, he’s doing better. We still have to deal with the underlying causes, but I sure appreciate all your thought, and concern, and prayers.

Thank you all, so much- Craig, Red, Cocotte, Melissa, FADKOG, I can’t tell you how much it helps to know there are people that care.

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Prayers Please

If you do, or whatever you *do* do, for my son Nick; he’s in the hospital & it really really sux big time, I’m the dad and supposed to be able to “fix” things, and I can’t, and I hate it with all my heart.

So, if you pray, or think, or sing, or what-have-you; I’d appreciate it.

Gotta go before I fall apart again, I think this was easier when I was a rock.

Filed under: family, kids

Happy Thanksgiving-

I hope that everyone’s day is filled with family, fun, and good times, and all of the things (whatever they are) that *you* are thankful for.

Filed under: blessings, ,

One section down, one to go

Well, I did indeed finish the first section of the training, 40 something hours of study, and at the end a “test that is given to masters candidates in the area of suicide screening and intervention, which on average, 13% pass”.

I passed, thank you very much- but then, I’m not doing generalized psych courses at the same time, and the test is given to everyone, not just those focused only in this area and probably not after an intensive round of lecture/study in one very small area. However, I can at least say I’m as qualified (academically, not yet practically, that’s next) as the screener at most emergency psychiatric hospitals, if they even have one.

Next up, the clinical training and evaluations, and training in the nuts-n-bolts of how we’re going to do things like find local referring agencies, or consultation support, work scheduling, etc.

Otherwise, my time has been filled with work, and bathroom renovations, and kids, bathroom renovations, and family, bathroom renovations, and church and bathroom renovations.

Did I mention that I’ve had to renovate a bathroom? Yeah, our shower control valve decided to become less-than-watertight, which is a royal pain- because living in the dark behind the wall, as they like to do, we didn’t *know* it was leaking, until enough time and water had passed to rot through the subfloor, drip onto the sheetrock of the ceiling below, and then work through *that*, too-

Which means, open the wall, to get at the plumbing, and since I’m doing that, may as well replace the tile that we’ve never liked; and since I’m doing that, we may as well replace the (extremely shallow, like 8″ water-depth) tub that we’ve always hated, and since we’re doing *that*, and I have to replace sections of the subfloor, may as well re-tile the whole floor, and since we’re doing *that*, we never liked the vanity and sink, either, cheap-o builder’s grade crud…

Yeah, I figure I’ll be done about 2020, lol- or maybe 2021, or maybe not. ughhh.

Here’s hoping they get the clinical training scheduled fast, so I have a nice, quiet, intellectual activity to offset the messy, noisy, grunt-work of remodeling!

 

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