A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me


Original posting date was July 26th, 2006


That’s what’s happening for the next two days; #1 boy is home for his orientation. He and I leave tomorrow morning, there’s a parent part of the program as well. Probably to reassure us that the kids usually survive, I guess. *smile* Which is a good thing to know!

I was thinking about the word, though- orientation.
Websters online dictionary provides three uses, but I only care about 1-

1 a : the act or process of orienting or of being oriented
b : the state of being oriented; broadly : ARRANGEMENT, ALIGNMENT

So, for two days (not even full days, either- we don’t start until 11:00 Thursday morning), they are going to commit acts of orientation on my oldest child. Hmmm. That seems wrong, somehow, is that allowed? I’m not really sure about this whole “kid getting big enough, mature enough and old enough to be going away to school” thing, either.

Will they orient me on how to let him go, and not be clinging and intrusive? Will they help me to tell him, or show him, that he is valued, and loved, and that L and I are so incredibly proud of the young man he’s become?

Will they orient him to know that he can always call on us, unconditionally, knowing only that mom and dad are behind him and supporting him in whatever his path may be? Will he remember that when he’s not here for me to tell him?

I sure hope so.

It’s funny, I’ll be with him during this orientation, and it’s not even the “move” to school- that’s later on- but I’m feeling sad, that he’s gotten so big. It’s mixed with such pride and pleasure in him, though, that I’m just mixed up; I know, I know, they all do this, but still- he’s the first, so I have to figure this out as I go along, ok?

And when that’s done, he and I are going to go and sail the new boat- a different kind of orientation, one that I’m much more comfortable with- if I’m able to orient myself on a chart, be it aeronautical or nautical, or even a topo map- well, that’s orientation too, and perhaps its good to balance the one orientation with another, simpler and not so emotional type.


Filed under: fa

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