A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Nothing much

Haven’t felt like writing much, the last week. Not that there hasn’t been a fair amount of introspection, I guess I still “think to much”, but I haven’t felt compelled to write it.

I’ve been plugging at the NaNo project, but have really determined that this one is not going to be a spewing. I have some plot ideas, that are percolating, and I want to do them right- because I think they might be fun, and if I try to blast them out in a hurry, they’ll be spoiled for me, for later.

So, I’m trying to write to it everyday, but not counting words as such. I’m enjoying that, for the most part- I like that I can stand and pace to cogitate, without having pressure to be typing. Even though self-imposed, that pressure was always there.

Other stuff, small steps- sneak forward, get tossed back, claw to where you were- and move forward a little more, a bit at a time. What else is there to say?

Some days, it feels like the shampoo instructions: “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.” With no end defined, it’s just an endless cycle:

Progress, Regression, Repeat.

Maybe someday, the cycle will read differently, I sure hope so; I believe it will, eventually, but it’s sure draining sometimes.

Mellow weekend though, helped a lot; kids and I puttered with the boat a little, soccer season ending so ran Rob for reffing, and then his little guys’ pizza party. Church and confirmation class, and overall, just hanging with them, it was very nice.

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Filed under: depression, meanderings

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