A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Nothing much

Haven’t felt like writing much, the last week. Not that there hasn’t been a fair amount of introspection, I guess I still “think to much”, but I haven’t felt compelled to write it.

I’ve been plugging at the NaNo project, but have really determined that this one is not going to be a spewing. I have some plot ideas, that are percolating, and I want to do them right- because I think they might be fun, and if I try to blast them out in a hurry, they’ll be spoiled for me, for later.

So, I’m trying to write to it everyday, but not counting words as such. I’m enjoying that, for the most part- I like that I can stand and pace to cogitate, without having pressure to be typing. Even though self-imposed, that pressure was always there.

Other stuff, small steps- sneak forward, get tossed back, claw to where you were- and move forward a little more, a bit at a time. What else is there to say?

Some days, it feels like the shampoo instructions: “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.” With no end defined, it’s just an endless cycle:

Progress, Regression, Repeat.

Maybe someday, the cycle will read differently, I sure hope so; I believe it will, eventually, but it’s sure draining sometimes.

Mellow weekend though, helped a lot; kids and I puttered with the boat a little, soccer season ending so ran Rob for reffing, and then his little guys’ pizza party. Church and confirmation class, and overall, just hanging with them, it was very nice.


Filed under: depression, meanderings

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