Unreality. That’s what it feels like, when you get to take a week and go away, with no work, no school, no home chores. Also, no wondering what/who/when/is she? A very peaceful time, as far as that goes. Spend a week in the cabin you built in the woods, from logs, with your own blood and sweat and tears in it (literally), with no telephones or electricity or T.V., etc, and you get to think quietly for a little bit anyway.
Granted, the other house has the T.V., videos and all, but the time at “my house” was so welcomed, it far outweighs the rest. Christmas in a box, popcorn strings as the tree trimmings, Dad and Rick and his kids, and the six of us- it makes for a good noise, overall, and really drives home what family means to me, how much I love them all.
Even Rick, who as we grew up was my nemesis, the one I hated, is tolerable in small doses. We’ll never be close, I don’t think, but I can manage to get past the kid stuff. After all, didn’t I learn in the last months that forgiveness is more for me, than the other? I can let go, because I’ve also learned how destructive and uncomfortable the icky feelings can be, and how resentment and anger can eat away at you, and it’s not worth it.
I even had an EIGHT day, on Friday. Lynn and I stayed back in the morning, and took a whole bunch of really fun sexy pictures, in the snow and woods, and on the bear-skin rug, and peeking around a snowy pine- (and of course, I snuck a couple of her walking the path just for fun!), and then made love before we went over to ski; and the skiing was fantastic, wet but warm, soft snow falling, everyone having a blast, a perfect last day for the trip.
Wind that up with a great sauna for everyone, and a wonderfully silly snowball war, as the bigger boys decided to streak up to the house and back- and after Lynn and I had attacked them with snowballs, they came back to find Nick and Lynn all set to ambush them again- I haven’t heard so much laughing and falling over with tears running down cheeks in I don’t know how long.
It’s hard to leave, seems like as soon as we got in the car, the soft warm feelings start to dissipate. I’m thinking of work, and school, and being broke and how we can get the oil filled, and all the stuff that we’ve left behind is coming back again. Guess it just shows you can’t escape life forever, but what a great week to stop the world and get off for a bit. So, if I can just plug away at each little thing, do what has to be done as things come up, that’s going to have to do.