Yesterday, I stopped taking the pain and nerve medications. I decided, after thinking about it for a while, and from what the primary Doctor’s reaction was, to the prescriptions that the physiatrist had given me (Basically, “Oh. Are they any help at all?” Which, isn’t clear so much as his tone, which was very clearly indicating that he wondered why she bothered).
It made Lynn mad, but I haven’t been getting any better by taking them, and they’re bugging me with side effects that I didn’t like, so I figured that if I stop taking them and nothing changes, then nothing has been lost. If I stop taking them, and I hurt more or the numbness gets worse, well then it’s easy enough to start taking them again. So today was the second full day without them, the first work day and all I’ve noticed is a bit of extra soreness in my neck. The numbness hasn’t increased or decreased, my range of motion is the same, so I’m not really sure that the drugs had any effect at all, except to make the doc feel that she was doing something.
That’s probably unfair, I’m sure she is doing her best, but it’s frustrating to have no change for not taking them.
So, the next thing is to find the anesthesiologist, and setup to have an epidural and more physical therapy. From there, who knows?
I was speaking at work today, about stress and how we deal with it, and shared my worries about the arm, and what if it doesn’t get better? What if this is what it is, and all the limitations that it puts on me.
BUT, this class is partially based on how we deal with stress, and how to manage worry so that it doesn’t consume you.
So I also shared something that I was trying to put into practice, one of Dale Carnegies’ principles:
“Count your blessings, not your troubles.”
Simple words, but very powerful:
I can pray, I can work, I can type, I can read, I can hug. I can cuddle. I can take photographs, I can walk. I have the kids, I have friends, I have Lynn.
The list can go on, and on, and when I really look at it, and think about it, well, my troubles are really not anything much. So, I’m trying my best to remember to count those blessings, and let the troubles fall where they may.