A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me


Twenty Two. 22. XXII, if you like roman numerals.

For over half of my life, as of August 10th, 2007, we’ve been married.

We were young, we were poor, people said we were foolish, that it was a mistake. They were wrong, you know- or, maybe you don’t know, but I do. We aren’t all that young anymore, we’re still foolish sometimes, but it wasn’t a mistake.

No, it’s a glorious, wonderful adventure. We’ve dealt with things, for the most part shoulder to shoulder and working things out well. We’ve been poor, and there were times when the division of cash between gas money to get to work and macaroni and “can we get hot-dogs too” were pretty stressful.

We’ve been through the births and lives (so far) of four of the most wonderful kids that God ever graced this planet with, and dealt with the pain of a non-birth. We’ve had times when we’ve been on the top of the world, and others when the world was weighing so heavily, I wondered if we could survive.

We’ve been ill, we’ve been well, we’ve had periods when we couldn’t stand being away from one another for an hour, and times when if we had to see the other, it hurt.


Through it all, through depression, alcoholism, through hormone-balancing medicines, visits to the emergency room and the island, we’ve managed, somehow, to continue in our muddling and inexpert way, to survive- together.

One year ago, plus and minus a few months, if you’d asked how we, as a couple, are doing, the answer could very well have been “what is this couple thing of which you speak?”

Today, we’re closer than we’ve been in years, and growing closer by leaps and bounds, every day. There are still moments, which will probably continue, when the effort is huge, the communication tasks are daunting. We’re probably no more sensible overall with finances and the mundane day-to-day things, but we’re in a position now where at least we know that we’ll eat, we’ll feed and shelter and clothe the kids, that we can enjoy some things that many others would envy.

So, if you ask today, how are we doing as a couple, the answer would have to be different: “Couple? We’re not a couple, we’re one with each other again. As it should be.”

I love you Lynn, with all my heart and soul and mind and body, with all that I am, with all that I have, and I am looking forward to another half of my lifetime with you.


Filed under: anniversary, love, lynn, marriage, relationship

2 Responses

  1. Karen says:

    congratulations on your anniversary sweet man. may you enjoy many more lifetimes of anniversaries together. *big hugs*

  2. Melissa says:

    Beautiful post, and happy anniversary. There are so many people who would have blamed each other during the “can we get hotdogs too” times and thought their love and fortune was with another, but I’m glad to hear you two got through it and are reaping the rewards today. Congratulations again – 22 years is nothing to sneeze at.

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