A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

I’m blatantly plagiarizing here, because…

Melissa made an observation in a comment, in response to this post, talking about forgiveness in the context of a story discussion that struck me as so sensible, so intuitively “right”, that I had to copy it to a post of its own:

I wonder though, if our forgiveness isn’t meant for the act but the person. Not sure if that makes sense, the way I wrote it. In other words, people tend to exhibit the same weaknesses over and over, and rather than forgiving the manifestation of that weakness each time (each incident, each letdown), would it make more sense to just recognize this is part of that person (at least at present) and forgive them once and for all?

I’m torn here, because of course there are times when I think “Again? But I’m tired! I don’t think I’m that resilient!”

I was actually writing something else when the email notifying me of the comment came in, and it was so appropriate to what I was writing, that I’d suspect that she was reading over my shoulder if I didn’t know better.

Forgive the whole, accept that something is part of the person, and not worry about the re-occurrences. I wonder, can I be that resilient? Can I not worry about the repeated things?


Might be better than turning into a rock, no?


Filed under: forgiveness, relationship

4 Responses

  1. Phyllis Renée says:

    I’m dealing with this very thing right now. I think I’ve forgiven the person, but I don’t know about “once and for all.” I mean, if this happens again (which it has several times just this year) am I supposed to say, “Oh that’s ok, I’ve already forgiven you.” I don’t think I can do that.

  2. Kittie Kate says:

    I agree with that. It totally makes sense.

  3. for a different kind of girl says:

    I don’t know if I’m taking this in in the right context, or the context presented. What I do know is that forgiveness is a matter I’ve struggled with. I’ve been taught that when we’ve asked for forgiveness, then we are given it, accept it and move on. That if we’re remoreseful and forgiving, then we release the guilt or whatever by asking for forgiveness.

    Wow. Blabbering. What I mean to say is I’ve tried this over a particular thing I’ve felt I’ve needed forgiven for, and yet, not matter what, I feel like I have had to keep asking for it over and over again. I believe I’m forgiven, I just wish I could take it humbly and move on.

    Sorry. So babbling!

  4. Melissa says:

    Forgiveness is a tricky thing, I think. Hell, I know it is. I have trouble forgiving myself for things, and had to institute a time limit. If it’s been five years, it is over with! As for forgiving others, it sure can be hard if the same matter keeps rearing its ugly head. That’s when I have to view whatever it is as part of the person and make a determination whether it is something I can handle. I might forgive but still have to sever ties – it’s very incident-specific, I think.

    Girl, I see your babble and raise you one!

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