A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Ups and downs but I like the ups best

Funny, the way my moods can be so mercurial. Granted, the feelings I was dealing with last week weren’t really a deep, dark depressive episode. There was no thought in my mind of dying, of suicide, of other nasty icky things that have visited me too often.

Yet, it passed off so nicely, and left without that lingering bad taste in the mouth, that I really want to know why. What is it, about some of these occurrences, that lets them leave quietly, and let’s me get on my way as if it had never happened? To go on, and go to friends, and play and laugh and hike a beautiful river (with waterfalls, see pic below and tons more on my flickr page).

I don’t know, and that frustrates me to no end. I have tried to keep track, if only in a general way, of what I’m doing, what I’m eating, how I’m sleeping, all the little things, in an attempt to see if I can identify something that is common, to both the onset of the dark days, and the passing off- so I can do better at getting rid of them in an easier and smoother way, if I can’t head them off completely.

Driving me nuts! Oh, wait, I’m already nuts. Never mind that part then!

Anyway, we had a fantastic weekend; we hiked around a place called Butterfield Falls, right by the Delaware Water Gap, with some great friends. It made a wonderful final weekend before the school routine starts up, and I got to take hundreds of photos. What could possibly be better than that?

Well, yeah, you’re right, photos are not as good as sex- but there was a sufficiency of that, too, and it was way great. Mind-blowing, as a matter of fact, but that’s another story.

Now, if I can relearn how to sleep properly, without having to drug myself, I’ll be all set.

Filed under: depression, meanderings, photos, , , , , , , ,

7 Responses

  1. C-Marie says:

    What a beautiful picture! (as are the other ones..)

    Hang in there!! I think keeping track of what possibly “triggers” certain feelings is half the battle. I’m glad you had a wonderful time! That’s always refreshing!


  2. Wish I had the answers, for I, too, have experienced the same thing, and then wished I could have more of those ‘just let this go’ moments.

    The photos is spectacular!

  3. Desmond Jones says:

    aBeautiful photo of a beautiful falls. . . Reminds me of one Molly and I hiked to on our honeymoon in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. . .

    I don’t think I have any particular wisdom re ‘tracking your moods’, altho I understand the impulse to want to ‘figure it out’. I finally just got to the point of being glad when it left, and being able to make a few constructive inputs to said departure. . .

  4. I am glad you are feeling better. What a beautiful waterfall! To be able to take that picture! 🙂
    I’ve been on such a rollar coaster of feelings lately- its it a little frustrating to me sometimes. I always used to be able to rely on music to help me through my moods- but it just doesn’t work so much anymore.
    Again, glad to read and feel that you are feeling better!

  5. Dave says:

    C-Marie, Thank you! I’m really loving the photography, and it’s nice when they ‘work’.

    Fadkog- I’ll work on having more of those moments with ya, maybe we can figure it out!

    Desmond- I love the U.P., still have a cabin there, which I’ll never get rid of. I guess I don’t *have* to figure it out, but I wish I could so I could attempt to do whatever it is, to have more of them.

    Buttafly- Music is wonderful, I agree- but sometimes I too find it not as powerful as other times. Luckily, that seem cyclical, and it usually regains it’s helpfulness

  6. tam says:

    That is awesome! Glad you all had a great time. Your photos are great…commented on several! I love waterfalls. I spend hours sitting, watching the water. It’s a great way to de-stress.

  7. Lil Bit says:

    oooooooo, pretty pic!

    I’ve been in my own lil funK lately, so I have no real ‘answers’ for ya — I know the weather also affects my mood, too… as I sense Mother Nature beginning to retire, it brings me down.
    That’s not the ONLY cause of my moodyness, but it’s definitely a factor.
    Another common denominator is hormones… and lil things in the BRAIN…. things we can’t see and put a finger on and go “a HA! THAT’S it! THAT is what is causing my loony moments!”
    Sorry, sweetie… probably nothin’ you don’t already know.

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