A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Tolerate and Thanksgiving

I was thinking of this today, on a drive to take my son to his drivers test (he passed, go Nick!). (For those of you who don’t have kids of this age yet, all I can say, is Stop laughing! YOUR turn will come, too!)

Anyway.

At some point, somewhere in this blog, I think I quoted the therapist that I saw soon after the clipping of the bridge, but I don’t feel like looking it up; suffice it to say, she told me in the fall or winter of 2006-2007, “You will tolerate, until things become intolerable. It’s automatic, then, that when things become intolerable, something will change.”

In the context of trust, and open-ness, and up-front-ness, and all of that; at what point, do I get to say, “I’m tired. I’m too tired, to do this anymore?”

Soon, I fear.

And that is frightening to me. I can lie to myself, and to whomever, as a secondary thing- but really, I’m tired of lying to myself. I’m not very good at it, anymore, and it hurts.

And I find that I just don’t care, and that too is frightening.

Oh well, nobody told me life wouldn’t be scary, even as a nominal grown-up.

Have a great Holiday, for those in the U.S. that celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow. I hope your day is filled to overflowing with things to be thankful for. Well, I wish the same for anyone, whether you celebrate tomorrow or not, actually.

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2 Responses

  1. Melissa says:

    When things become intolerable, something WILL change. But luckily for us, we can learn from history and change something else this time around. I understand lying to oneself and recognize that it has its advantages, but there comes a time that the realization we’re lying to ourselves (and how well does that work, anyway? We’re in on it) is galvanizing enough to make us stop, think, and make that change work to our advantage.

    Best to you and your family this Thanksgiving, xoxox

  2. Buttafly27 says:

    It seems that when things get intolerable in my life- things do change. And it is usually is for the better in the long run, but usually always happens as a blow up, or argument. Sometimes I recognize that I am lying to myself, and it takes a lot of effort to really figure out what the truth is. I often beleive myself instead of recognizing the truth.

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