A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Late-night thoughts

I can’t sleep, and I got tired of lying there with the sheets doing the evil “conspiracy to wrinkle and wrap and slide the blankets off”, as they so love to do when I’m tired but awake, so I’ve been sitting down here the last couple hours. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to when I could stay up all night, and sleep all day as a norm. I love the quiet, the dark. I can dream, I can talk to myself, I can read and write without interruption.

I told my dad, last evening, about my hospital visit; I hadn’t before, because he was on a ski trip and I didn’t have a phone number for him. I’ll tell my brothers and sisters soon too, I suppose, but I’m not sweating that as much; they’ll respond with ‘let us know if we can do anything’, and send their love. Honestly, I’ll take the love, but don’t need the other. One of the things people keep saying is just that: “What can I do?” Nothing. It’s in my head, so really, there’s nothing that needs to be done in the way it might if I were physically indisposed. I go to work, I get to church, we finished painting my daughters room, Lynn and I have sex, it’s all just carrying on.

Thinking of sex (you weren’t? I am, often these days, far more so than when I was younger. Perhaps I’m having a second childhood?), the sex around here has been freakishly wonderful lately. Something in the water, or hormones, or just the explorations we’ve been doing (most likely!) but holy wow. I honestly don’t think we’ve ever had as much sex as regularly as in the last month, and with the experience we have with one another, it’s better than it’s ever been. Yummmmmm. I’m hoping this is a phase that doesn’t pass anytime soon!

I wish it’d warm up properly, or snow. I hate and loath the time of year when it’s too cold to do anything outside, and no snow to ski. It’s all browns and grays and muddy yuk around here right now, and the temperature keeps bouncing from the twenties to the forties. Blech. Give me winter, or give me real spring, when the sun is warm and everything starts greening.

That’s enough for me tonight, I’m going to try to sleep again for a few hours before work.


Filed under: babbling, meanderings, musings, night thoughts

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