A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me


I decided today, in consultation with the crazy Doc (Psychiatrist), that I’m done with Zoloft. It’s been fine, overall, and certainly I feel much better on something, than I did last year, on nothing. However, the time has come to wind down a level, because I really don’t want to be on drugs for the rest of my natural life (and hope I don’t have to). So, I asked him about going back to Welbutrin, again.

That’s what I started with, way back last year, and it was effective, just not effective enough, at that time. Some of that had to do with what was going on last fall, with all the issues that were coming to light in our marriage, and my own problems in dealing with that. I also didn’t like the ear-ringing that I’d been experiencing, so we went through a period of trying several drugs, before settling on Zoloft.

The problem with Zoloft, is that my ears still ring like crazy, and we can’t eliminate drug-induced side effects as the root cause, because it’s never stopped. Granted, Zoloft doesn’t interfere with our sex life as much as Effexor or Lexapro (UGH), but there’s still the occasional time when it would be much nicer not to have to fight that battle too. Combine those with the digestion grumblies, and I’ve decided it’s time to go back.

About the only worry I have at this point, is if what we’ve been assuming are side effects, aren’t. I think I’m in a much better, much stronger place than I was last fall, so if Welbutrin is as effective as it was, it should be enough. Plusses will be getting rid of (hopefully) uggho tummy, and intermittent-but-frustrating sexual side effects.

Other health crap, I see the anesthesiologist that did the epidural in my neck again tomorrow. I’m not sure how well that worked, I still can’t do what I want to do, and can’t seem to get rid of the irritating feeling of my left hand’s outer three fingers always feeling swollen; plus, I’ve noticed lately, that when I get tired, or my arm does rather, they don’t always work correctly. I see this most if I’m chatting in pogo, or in chat- my fingers miss the letters that should be second nature, and during the early part of the day, are.

So, we’ll see how it goes, over the next few weeks, and I promised the crazy Doc that if I feel at any point that the depression is worsening, I’ll call him immediately.


Filed under: depression, drugs

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