A Rock Feels No Pain

In despero , obscurum ; In Diligo , Lux lucis. (In despair, darkness; In Love, Light). -Me

Hurricane Readiness

So, how to prepare for a hurricane? If you’re like many, you buy water, make sure you have propane for the grill, or charcoal- you stock up on food that won’t spoil, knowing roads may be blocked by trees and powerlines if the wind brings them down.

You fill the bathtub with water, if you have a well on a pump, so you can flush the toilets should the power drop. You make sure you have batteries for flashlights, and candles for atmosphere.

Or, you do as my 14 year old daughter did- call some friends, and put on your bathing suits, and wait in the yard & play in the rain, before the wind hits and you can’t be outside.

I like her thinking!


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Helpless & ouch & funerals-

Little disjointed unconnected just “tossing thoughts out”, here:

1. I hate when I want to help someone, but it feels as if I can’t do enough, you know? I know I did everything I could, and I know it was appreciated, and I know it’s all I could do, given the logistics and timing and circumstances, and all those things; but, I can’t keep my heart from wishing it could have been more.

2. Got a call, Friday- my son was on a school field trip, with the band, and hurt himself jumping a barrier at an amusement park. He’s okay, but there was a tense 3 hour drive for me, Friday evening, to get him at the hospital, and another 3 back home. If asked, he says he learned an important lesson: “Jump higher.”

3. Got a call, a couple hours ago, from my brother back in Minnesota; my much beloved Aunt’s second husband died today. I’ll be flying back on Wednesday, for the interment and memorial service on Thursday.

4. Got told by someone extremely special to me, that I should put up a wall, to protect myself. Too late, I said- no rocks left around to build a wall with, and I don’t wanna, anyway. Funny, considering the name of this blog, and how often I make jokes about being a “rock”, or “rocklike”… but, I was struck by how little like a rock I feel, or want to be, anymore. huh.

5. We’re getting closer to going on a mission trip, which is at the end of June, to the Dominican Republic- and I’m excited, for it. I’ve been working with the youth from Church, that will be going- but, if anyone happens to think of a cure for insanity, which is newly defined as taking 16 teenagers overseas, please let me know!

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Merry, Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a blessed, happy and safe Christmas.

We have my Dad visiting, in our first Christmas here at home in 5 years, which is fun- although, I think he’s bored, lol, I can’t *do* much still. We’re having a nice visit anyway, so that’s cool.

There’s something so nice about having all four kids at home. Even when Jeremy is simply at school, which is of course where he belongs now, there’s always the low-level awareness of something not quite right. So, when he’s here, even when we’re not seeing much of him (girlfriends, you know), it’s just so much nicer.

Tonight, we have our service at 10:00, which is a wonderfully peaceful, beautiful time. I’m so looking forward to it- it’s been a long time since we’ve been there, so I’m anxious to see if it’s as great as I remember. Three of the kids are serving on the altar, too, which is interesting. We’ve become known as the “Altar serving family”. Works for us, as there is another family that we call the “Music for any occasion” family; every one of them is multi-talented in intruments, and sing beautifully as well.

About it for updating for now, I’m just hanging out in a collar, another month at least- but getting better.

Hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas!

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Almighty God,

We give thanks to you for all the blessings you have given us in this life. We thank you for our family, those who are gathered together here, as well as those that are far away. We thank you for the abundant riches that you have given us, for warm homes and sufficient food, for clothes and friends and our community.

We ask that you bless this food, that we may take sustenance from it, to always seek your will for us, and keep us ever mindful of the needs of others, especially those less fortunate than we.

We pray this in the name of the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit.


This is the blessing I asked today, as we sat around our (too small) table. There were five of my clan, as Rob is spending Thanksgiving with a cousin in North Carolina; this is the first holiday we’ve ever spent where all six of us weren’t together, and that’s a strange, strange feeling.

In addition, we had one of Lynn’s brothers and his wife, and one of their kids- (the other is the cousin Rob is visiting). We had one of Lynn’s sisters, and her son and wife and their child. In all, we squashed 12 people around our table, sitting on extra chairs from the den, from the office, from the basement and from a bedroom.

We feasted, on turkey, squash, stuffing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry. We had salads, and beans, and pie, and more pie. There was coffee, there was milk, there was wine and sparkling water, there was laughter, and jokes and stories. We giggled, we roared, we raised a ruckus and we shouted. We hugged, we looked at hand-blown glass, we shared and we loved one another.

I looked around, and thought, “Who cares, that this year we’re a little cash-strapped. Who cares, that I’m not exactly sure how to replace the tires on the car. Who cares, that the den needs carpet and that I can’t repair the ceiling until my arm will work. Who cares, indeed.

We have a roof; we have enough to eat, and the kids’ are warmly dressed, and we’ll be able to fix the ceiling soon enough. I don’t need tires yet, I can’t drive anyway. We have so very much, compared to some people, who are struggling not with how to fix a car, but how to fix their shoes.

We have family, we have love, we have a fire in the fireplace, we have friends and we have each other, and we have God.”

We’re doing pretty damn good, if you ask me.

I hope all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, filled with peace and love.

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Bad penny- I’ve turned up again

So. What to say? There’s been a fair amount of “stuff” going on, but probably not as interesting to you, as to me. So, I guess I’ll just meander, as the old title of this blog was.

Surgery sucks, there’s no other word for it- so if you happen to wake up one morning, saying to yourself: “Gee, I think I’ll go and have my throat slit and my spine ground, and get some titanium put in, so I can be just like Dave!”, well, if you happen to be saying that- YOU’RE FREAKING NUTS!!

Don’t do this, unless you are desperate, and have exhausted all other options. Then put it off for another eight months, hoping that something will change, and then pray for another couple, to make sure your head is on straight. Then, and only then, do you want to do this. Or rather, not so much want to, cuz you don’t- but, you’ll at least know it’s the right decision, anyway.

So, it went well, was done last Tuesday, one week ago. I see the Doc for the first follow-up tomorrow, and we’ll then get an idea of what the next steps are; do I start therapy soon, etc, etc. At the moment, I do nothing but sit; I can’t lift over 5 lbs (Know how much YOUR laptop weighs?? Hmmm?? Quit laughing, I have to slide it on and off the chair, to my lap, on a cookie sheet). I can’t bend, twist, lift, push, pull, lower; no housework at all- no dishes, vacuum, dusting, nothing at all. Now, granted, that part isn’t bad- except there’s a huge difference between not doing those things by choice, and being forbidden.

Now, I’m bored out of my mind, lol- netflix, pogo, reading (minimal, book positioning is awkward), walking and eating. Oh boy oh boy. Anyone play online games? Let me know!

Other stuff, and more why I was taking a bit of a step back from here, is mostly still there. I guess attempting to understand myself doesn’t really matter, if i’m hanging out on blogs, or writing here, or not. Mostly, I was finding that there were areas that I was uncomfortable with, and needed to decide if it was real, or my head, or what. I’m not sure I decided anything, but I sure think about it a lot; once I’ve decided, I’ll be sure to let myself know.

My Dad’s going to come for Christmas this year. It’ll be the first time we’ve been home for Christmas in five years, since we started going to California for Mom, before she died, and then did the last couple years in Minnesota, to be with Dad. I’m looking forward to just being home, honestly- even if it’s chaos, having extras in, and all that, I love that and I really wanted to just be here this year, sot hat’s going to be good.

Not sure what the final arrangements for Thanksgiving are, we’ve been seeing Lynn’s brother the last few years, but that’s an hour + drive, and I’m not sure I can sit in a car that long. Based on today’s ride, just to the polling place and back, and right now, I’d say no way. But, things change in three weeks, so we’ll see how it all is then.

That’s enough for now; but if there’s anyone that still looks, I’m back; and I’ve missed you all, and left comments on a lot of blogs today, hope to see you around.

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My little boy

So, I am going to boast, brag, wander around with my chest puffed out, look down my nose at all the plebeian people that don’t get to be as proud of their first-born-kids as I do, this day.

Why, you may wonder, why are you so pleased and proud as can be?

No need to wonder for long, I’ll tell you- in fact, I’ll tell the world. In fact, I am, in a sense, telling the world- but you knew that, and you – what’s that? Oh, yeah, get to the point.

I am the proudest father in the world today, because my son Jeremy, at 20, just preached his first sermon. Yes indeed, he did. He’s been toying with the idea for a long time now, (long in 20-year-old years), about going to Seminary, and studying for ordination in the Episcopal Church. Well, it’s been long for us, too, because we’ve known this for him, about him, and with him, from the first stirrings.

A couple of years ago, before he left home for his first year of undergrad work, he approached our Rector, basically saying, “I think I’m going to go to seminary.” This is the same rector that I approached as well, when I wandered in and said “I think I’m supposed to be a priest.” Apparently, this runs in our family- my brother the already-ordained-minister would not be too startled, I don’t think.

Anyway- Jeremy has known this was calling to him for a long time, and has spent the intervening time studying as any college student should, learning about life and love and grades and long-distance relationships and beer and phone home and how to do the laundry. In short, a pretty typical kid, doing very well in school but not so focused he’s not fun, either.

So this summer, as he was casting about for employment (cuz I can’t cover the full load for four years, much as I wish I could), an opportunity came up that was God’s answer to prayers. We had, in our church, been planning on hiring an assistant this year; due to timing, some circumstances with the diocese, and the graduation cycle at the seminary, it wasn’t happening. However, it was proposed to our Vestry that our Rector be allowed to hire a summer intern, instead- and he (the rector) felt that Jeremy would be the perfect choice, if Jeremy was willing to serve in this way. Oh, was he ever!

He’s been busy, following the Rector’s daily routine, meetings and phone calls, pastoral visits and baptisms, assisting at services, helping to plan our summer mission trip. He was involved in Judy’s funeral, and in planning for an upcoming wedding.

And, he’s been scheduled to preach, twice this summer; today, being the first of the two occasions.

There’s something very weirdly incredibly powerful, about sitting in the pews of the church I love so much, watching a normal service underway- until, that is, your own kid, your very own little boy climbs up to the pulpit and begins to speak.

He Was Awesome.

The only way I can describe it, from my point of view anyway. Did you know that my kid was that cool, that he could preach about Rebekah and Isaac and Abraham and the Slave that went to find Rebekah? Well, trust me, he’s that cool, he did a great job. Don’t even have to take just my word for it- I was told, many many times, after the two services, that he did a terrific job and how proud I can be of him.

Naturally, I agreed, because I am terrificly proud of him. And, know what else is really neat? He’s not soo big, that this afternoon, in the winding down, the post-game-stress-relief, so to speak- he can still fall asleep curled up on my bed next to me, as we’re talking about it, and he just drifted off.

So, he’s still my little boy, and I think I like that part, too.

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Ancient History